DREADFUL SORRY, CLEMENTINE

• Be forewarned, I think the title of this episode is much too long. I think it should have just been entitled “Dreadful”. Ok, that’s unfair. It isn’t a dreadful episode; it is just flat. As in flat-line. Nothing horrible. Nothing great. Just flat.
• The reaction of all the men hanging around the swinging doors of the saloon as Sally Field boldly marches in is priceless. I am sure seeing a “virtuous” woman encroach on that inner sanctum of debauchery and decadence put their minds in quite a spin! And right off the bat, the action tells us we are about to meet up with a pretty ballsy woman.
• Peter has such lovely posture. When he uprightly takes the three steps up to the porch of the hotel he looks magnificent. Men with good posture present a certain image to the world, I think; that of confidence and strength.

• Oooooh, I like Heyes’ new outfit. The tan shirt is flattering with his coloring and the dark brown pants seem to fit him quite well, more snuggly than his usual buff jeans. Of course, we all know I would find him gorgeous in a burlap sack but some clothes seem to bring out the best in his looks, and this set of clothes is just pleasing on him from head to toe.
• I don’t like the moment when Heyes pretends to turn the dial and open the safe as the desk clerk actually does it. It seems out of place to me, and just plain silly. Heyes would never publicly put on such a display, possibly drawing attention to his avocation as a safe cracker. And then, lo and behold, what should appear on the screen just seconds later but the directing credit: Barry Shear. I should have known.

• Boy, the Kid sure got a good deal on sharing the hotel bill! Heyes emptied his pocket with $5 while the Kid only contributed one dollar. I sure hope he intends to pay for lunch or something! *wink*

• Wow. That is some kind of enormous hair and hat combo on Sally Field’s little head. And it is even goofier looking from the camera angle used as Clementine speaks to the hotel desk clerk. We see her pudgy little cheek and ear from behind and the huge masses of hair and hat that threaten to overstress her tiny body.

• After hoisting Clem into the air and passing her off to the Kid for a kiss and then back to Heyes for “his share” (geez), Heyes seems out of breath. Or is it Peter, the heavy smoker, who seems to gasp a bit for air? Peter’s acting is so fully invested in the role he is playing at the moment, I am never certain in instances such as this whether it is the real man or the character we are watching.




• In a wonderfully authentic moment, Heyes’ hat gets turned around and he puts it on his head backward. I am sure all of us just eat it up as Peter adjusts the hat and returns it to his head in the correct orientation. It is something that amuses me because Peter never seems flustered by such things—he just corrects them and continues on with the scene. There is no sense of him being a prima donna about mishaps. Another amazing example of Peter’s lack of ego when something goes a tiny bit wrong is in The Young Country when he obviously gets one of Joan Hackett’s hairs in his mouth after kissing her. You can hear it in his voice and you see him try to discreetly get the hair out of his mouth, which he finally does successfully, but he NEVER STOPS ACTING. He simply deals with the problem in his own way and continues right on. I suspect that is an uncommon trait among those in his craft, leading me to deduce that Peter was an exceptionally giving actor and that his work was all about doing his best for whatever he was working on and not about Pete Duel. This quality explains how he could be in such turmoil in his personal life and yet still put out performances that garner awe and respect; why he could be so unhappy about the series he was working on and yet bless his audience with no sign of such discontent in his final product. My, that speaks so highly to me of the true character of the man; the generosity of his spirit. Peter was, in my opinion, someone acutely worthy of the adulation he has held onto for nearly forty years. *sigh*



• In the one scene in the episode I find brilliant and flawless, Heyes sneaks down from his hotel room in the middle of the night to try to break into the safe and confiscate the identifying photograph. What transpires as the drunken hotel patron enters the scene is beyond hilarious—it is absolutely hysterical to me! I always have to rewind the scene because I am so engulfed in laughter I miss most of it and have to watch again. (Oh, yes, of course I always have an excuse for rewinding. But I promise I will tell the truth when the reason is that I simply must look one more time at Hannibal Heyes.) The scene begins very seriously, with somber music and Heyes very quietly taking his place behind the desk to begin the task of opening the safe and it is just exceptional story development that we are so ambushed by the path the scene is about to take. In stumbles the drunk, played to absolute perfection by Buddy Lester, and so ensues one of the best comedic scenes I have seen in this series, or any other for that matter. And Peter plays the perfect straight man to the drunk’s over-the-top behavior. Everything works flawlessly. I love how Heyes catches the items pushed from the counter, contorting wildly to keep from dropping them and making yet more noise, and then grabs the key and accidentally hits it to the metal ashtray he is holding, and a good strong clang resonates. I laugh when Heyes holds his hand in a crimped position for an extra moment or two after handing the drunk the key, thus prolonging the comedic flow. I absolutely adore the “forward ho!” stance as the poor drunkard musters up the coordination to head for the stairs and then leans against the wall, propelling himself upward and onward. In a perfect reaction, Heyes grabs his head as the drunk almost makes it to the top of the stairs but loses his momentum and begins his uproarious journey backward. Slowing the scene down just a tiny bit, it is still very cute when Heyes takes a second look at the photo and rolls his eyes—as if he is not something wonderful to look at, c’mon!—before securing it in his pocket. And finally the moment is wonderful as Heyes closes the safe and heads up the stairs full of success, only to meet the drunk loudly coming back down. Heyes finagling his way around the drunk is just perfect. This sequence is simply astounding from beginning to end. Absolutely exceptional. ®®

• Sally Field just has such a captivating way about her. I was not a really huge fan until a few years into the future when she gave such a stunning performance in Sybil, but even in her early days I liked her, I really liked her…
• The grin on Heyes face as he pulls the photograph from his pocket and shows it to Clem in the stagecoach is adorable. And the Kid doing the honors of lighting the match and setting the photo ablaze (*giggle*), while sporting a “Cheshire cat” grin is just right. Our boys like this woman, obviously, and have found a way to thwart her plans—or so they think—without hurting her. They are a bit full of themselves over it and are demonstrating a speck of arrogance at their ingenuity…right up until the moment she puts them in their places by letting them know she has another picture. I don’t like the idea of a friend resorting to blackmail to gain a favor, but I can picture our boys doing just such a thing themselves, even to someone they liked, if necessary. I think they can appreciate and even respect the reasoning behind their friend resorting to such coercion.





• I am not sure if the instant when Heyes quickly pulls his hand away from the flame is a Heyes or a Peter moment. I can see it both ways, really. Either Peter accidentally let the flame get too close, or as the consummate actor he is he let it singe him purposefully to get an authentic reaction. Each possibility shows us a true Peter moment—of Peter the man, or of Peter the actor.
  
• I love Peter smoothing his hair back, almost like he is about to gather it in a ponytail. It’s almost long enough. Gestures like that just carry me back to the 70s and I happily equate Peter with my hippie days.
  
• Wow. Did Don Ameche just step on one of Peter’s lines during the train station greeting? Of course if there is a flaw I am destined to assume it was brought about by the visiting actor and not our Peter—who looks extraordinarily hot from the side in those brown pants, by the way. *wink*

• Heyes walking with Mr. Fletcher from the ferry boat reminds me of how the storekeeper described Harry Briscoe in Reformation…citified clothes, and he walked like he just won a raffle.



• That seems like a pretty steamy kiss between the Kid and Clementine while Heyes is out of the room. I think Ben is quite a good screen kisser. I’m glad the decision makers had the sexier of the kisses be between Ben and Sally and not she and Peter…it might have been a bit uncomfortable to see him deep kissing Gidget. I wonder if that had any bearing on who was chosen.



• I get the feeling from the look that passes between Heyes and the Kid that this is a bit of a game between them—seeing who “gets” Clem first. That faint smile from the Kid is positively screaming “I won!”
  
• My, Heyes’ suit trousers are certainly formfitting, if you get my drift... *somebody hand me my fan*

• Ewww…not so thrilled with the Kid’s southern gentleman attire. The tie is way too short and the girly-man ruffled blouse looks dingy. However, it appears as though he has been painted into his dress pants, and that certainly saves the day.



• Why, Miss Scarlett…oh, wait, did he say Charlotte? What’s with that antebellum hairdo on Clementine? Talk about clinging to outdated style...

• I do declare, I think Miss Charlotte has developed the vapors over these most gorgeous of men. I know that’s why I get out my paper fan, at least…

• I love how Heyes—incognito as the land dealer—completely discounts Fletcher each time he tries to interject his opinion while Heyes is wheeling and dealing. He shuts Fletcher down quite handily, over his shoulder, without even looking at the man. Tasty.



• As Heyes and Fletcher walk down the hallway I am struck by the realization that those have to be the shortest suit slacks I have ever seen. They look like they were made for a man about 3” shorter. Did the wardrobe crew not understand inseams? If not for the boots, our boy would look patently ridiculous walking around in such high-water pants when no flood is present.



• Am I just a sourpuss with no sense of humor? (Don’t answer that!) I just don’t find putting a half full decanter of liquid into a suitcase funny, unless it is in some slapstick comedy. It is another of those moments for me where I am happily flowing along with the story, lost in the fictional account of scams and grifters and SLAP!!! I have something so silly thrown in my face I lose the continuity of the story and become acutely aware this has now become just a silly TV show. Nothing is said in the script about the decanter at all, so I am forced to assume this is yet another unfortunate Shear-ism.



• Please, Clem!! Put that half hair behind your ears, or pull it up on top of your head in a cute bow, or chop it off for all I care….just do anything but this bizarre two-part hairdo that completely overwhelms and diminishes your lovely face.



• God, that is just downright creepy. Suddenly, right in the middle of the scene of Fletcher telling Heyes he has found more available acres, Peter’s image is flipped and his face looks distorted and foreign. It is beyond distracting to see his part change to the wrong side and the shape of his face warp. Flipped images are a pet peeve of mine, especially since rediscovering Alias Smith and Jones and in particular, Peter. He has such a distinct look and such diabolically differing sides of his face, when his image is flipped it looks like someone else entirely. And I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to look at someone else.



• There’s cute old Keenan Wynn. He always takes over a scene and makes it his own—by sheer force! I love how he yells almost every line, and every step seems like he is in charge mode.

• Boy, he sure looks better with a jacket covering his dirty henley and the obvious hairy man boobs, though. *giggle*
• I never thought I would actually hear, in any episode of any TV show, the stereotypical line “you young whippersnapper…”—but there it is, expertly uttered by Keenan Wynn in an intonation only he could muster.
• What an awesome touch Sally Field adds to the line “Why, whatever do you mean?” as Fletcher says he thinks there is more to her than meets the eye. Almost unnoticed, she gingerly tugs at the lowest part of her décolletage, insinuating she is “protecting” her cleavage. A really flawless moment of acting instinct on her part.

  

• Our boys are feeling pretty satisfied with themselves as they joke about Fletcher being two days late getting to Diamond Jim’s office. Somehow, whenever they feel confident and start figuratively patting each other on the back over their amazing skill, I feel uneasy and take a deep breath—waiting for the other shoe to drop. Ever heard the old adage “don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched” boys? You might want to take heed.

• I wonder if the guy mopping the floor in the hallway outside the empty office is cleaning up the whisky trail left by Diamond Jim and the decanter in his suitcase. Lucky the janitor was there before Fletcher or he might have been able to trail Diamond Jim straight to Belmont. [:Dor

• I enjoy the scene when the boys barge right in to Clem’s hotel room in Denver. They are so full of swagger, so sure of their truth, that they are fully secure in themselves being right as she warns them about who is about to visit. When the Federal Marshal and Deputy State Attorney General actually do appear, their reactions are right on the money. It amuses me how Heyes glances several times at the badge of the towering Federal Marshall but always after first looking up at his face. And both he and the Kid look downright peaked as they each stealthily peek at the cashier’s check for $50,000. It is fun to see our boys shown up a bit by someone smart enough to do it, but not done in such a way as to make them look stupid.





• My second favorite piece of the episode after the Heyes and the drunken hotel patron fiasco—and boy, it’s been a long way getting here—is the sequence when our favorite outlaws see Clem off on the train. Right from the start the scene is lively and cute, as the ticket makes the rounds from Heyes’ hand to Clem, on to the Kid, who takes it from Clem and gives it back to Heyes. Clementine pulling everything out of the ugly bag and digging for the blue envelope is really cute, and I burst out laughing when I just noticed, for the very first time that as the boys deposit Clem onto the train her hat falls forward and covers her eyes—looking almost like a roosters crown while her huge conglomeration of hair at the back of her head finishes off the image as the roosters plume…how funny!! Capping off the whole scene, there stand our boys, again full of themselves and their believed prowess at the handling of Clem, shocked as they open the envelope to find their wanted posters and not their photograph.

• It is very interesting that this tiny woman with the strange two-part hairdo has outwitted them at every turn. She would certainly be a formidable opponent. I’d say it’s a damn good thing that she was basically on their side, even though she ripped them off; and I think they are very aware of that fact as they stand there looking incredulous as the train disappears down the tracks.